Long out-reached distorted month. Filled with a colourful rays of pain, laughter, physical aches, and frustrations of the lower and upper realms.Last month of the year. New Year on doorstep. Gains and losses.
The scorching heat is finally subsiding, mad with rage, hair all over the place, lack of air to breath and searching for a breeze that only comes around three am. Yet another unrequited dream, the air-con sits like a dead heavy metal piece and I have plenty of that in my mind and all around. Not enough power to generate it.
What’s laughable? Some friends are gone. Correction - most.
As a recluse, music is my constant intimate companion. Couldn’t possibly feel any lonelier now as the sense of touch has eluded me for decades with the exception of a kind quickie gentle stroke here and there, which leaves a long trail of lasting scent.
My Mother’s passing away occurred a year ago, we are not detached in any way, the connection continues. Only not through earthly means. The complete picture of laying my parent to rest was in its totality unnatural. But the end was dignified in a record of thirty hours.I will not be taking that road. It is either bush or in my bed, but not in a hospital.
I recall a nurse (of European descent) who told me, in militant language that I cannot spend more than one hour with my Mom because it will disturb the patients. Not sure, if she was related to which mammal class, croc family, or cold-blooded fish, but considering my daughter and I travelled hundreds of miles to spend the last few hours with her, this was surely a joke. Of course, I broke this rule and I was smuggled in and out by the African nurses who know what it means to be away from loved ones on a permanent basis.
A real shame considering that now days if one wants to be saved a hefty credit card balance will do. I wont take this read either.
A special space for Dave Williams, family, Head of the wild clan who passed away suddenly and our conversations and projects remain unspoken. Major loss for the family, still trying to get to grips with the fact that he is no longer with us.
His fascinating travels blog link http://dwilliamsbw.blogspot.com/ is worth reading.
Another passing away date of note goes to Sir Isaac Newton who I regularly refer back to his studies, to understand what I’m doing or lacking.
Yet again, no male in sight to protect the clan, that’s two jobs in one, but the comforting part, is that there’s always Ephraim, my African add on husband. As wife number three no harm can come my way while within the tribe. The only thing he demands is beer, an easy request to please. Noted are his expressions of fondness towards me, which go like this:
“Damn it!!”
Stamping his feet on the ground,
“I love you!!”
And so life continues speckled as it was 2000 years ago...
Characteristic of this month were early morning screams, yelps, long drawn sighs.
Mammals decided to block and expand barriers in front of my front door. Scorpions and spiders the latter, making intriguing lengthy threads using odds and ends to weave this great concussion of an invisible tent. As the family of spiders increase, the lower my head bows when exiting my home.
In my research of sound and visual communications, I have been alert for the sound of the black flying beetles’ calls at night. (Sounds like an alarm). The way they communicate is fascinating not sure if the others are answering them. Very loud bursts of sound measuring about 20 seconds at a time. All this will be tied up somewhat in a visual film as I collect sound recordings over time.
The vocality of birds continues, White helmeted shrikes going berserk in the day with the hornbills fighting among themselves and won’t share morsels. Perhaps it is the breeding season but never the less very talkative, musical throughout the day.
At the same time, sound in space, drum like sounds which apparently hard to listen to, come quite easy for me, having listened to heavy rock for most of my life, a video from Janna Levin is promising news for the future, although known already.http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/janna_levin_the_sound_the_universe_makes.html
To this end, have gone back to re-listen to John Bonham's drumming solo, Moby Dick, pieces which produce impressions, scribbles, already sealed in the consiousness, once again also, numbers and Hebrew letters appear out of chaos phase of lines, and dots.Monkeys are ever entertaining pests, but also dangerous. As I’m writing this, a male pounced through a window, heard my voice, and fled out. The males are very disrespectful to woman and intolerable towards charging woman. I learned to walk passed them never looking them in the eye, (ring a bell?) oh the submissive woman...but the male (humans) do loose it with them and always conspire how to poison them for good. The only problem here, is that they multiply like fish, one goes, 20 others rise- ughh vengeance~!.
A Young female leopard has been inquisitive, looking in through windows, marking her scent close to human habitation. Some shows of hostility towards humans. I give right away, as we all have to live together without fences.
A nice involvement with a building project and what mistakes to avoid. The crew were friendly and mistakenly surely called me Mabebeza ("Babe" in Shangaan). They slept on the ground, laboured heavily, and kept a sense of humour throughout. The burning wood, boiling beans in tins, mealie meal will be missed.
Thanks to all five of the soul mates remaining in presence since forever, remaining way past the physical appearance and personalities. Yet, the telepathy and their ever-growing love are eminent in my daily life. Most notably my closest soul mate, ever inspiring. Don't stop.
What is the time? At this precious moment it gives me great joy to spell it out that twenty one years a go, a cruel fool gave my entire LP collection to a garden boy for services rendered. That it took this length of time to get it all back (without the cover) and double, is an occasion to smile about. That was serious chunk of my life snatched away and now patched back into place.
I have gained another ten nicknames this year, almost one for each day of the month. Latest editions include “Tasmanian Devil”.
Stranger in a strange land.
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| Flat view of my home at sunrise, cooking fires and watchful vervet monkey. |
©Arlene Rabinowitz
March 2011
